I shouldn’t ever have to remind anyone of this, nobody should, but putting your hands around your wife’s throat is not a ‘playful tiff’…it’s assault, it’s domestic violence. It seeks to intimidate and silence. What’s so ‘playful’ about that?
I’m sure you’ve heard about Nigella Lawson; photos were recently released showing her husband, Charles Saatchi, putting his hands around her throat and on her face during an argument outside of a restaurant. According to him it was okay because there was ‘no grip’. Pictures of Nigella looking upset and in tears followed. It’s fine though because apparently, in Saatchi’s words, she was only upset because of the argument and ‘not because she was hurt’. Apparently he only touched her in such a way to ‘get [his] point across’. I’m sorry, but if you need to strangle your wife in order to get your point across you should really go and crawl into a hole away from human society, right now. I’ve read a few different articles about it; some balanced and some just plain ridiculous. I read one where they, for whatever reason, thought it was appropriate to describe what she was wearing (!). Nick Clegg then called it a ‘fleeting thing’. A fleeting thing. A FLEETING THING. When a man who is the deputy prime minister calls an act of domestic violence towards a woman a ‘fleeting thing’ you know we’re all in trouble; because, you know what, it’s not a fleeting thing. It’s enabled by a culture which is so deeply embedded with misogyny, we’re all told we should laugh at jokes about domestic violence and rape, where we’re constantly seeing women being objectified and sexualised in lad’s mags, Page Three, advertising and pretty much every other aspect of the media to the point where women aren’t seen as human beings.
Just because Saatchi handed himself in and then spoke out about it doesn’t make him any less of a cretin. We shouldn’t be awarding him a gold star for ‘doing the right thing’, he should have known that was the wrong thing to do in the first place. Giving him a platform to ‘defend himself’, in my view, is also the wrong thing to do.
While I’m on the subject, why did the photographer not intervene? She was being assaulted. Call the police, shout, anything.
Here’s a link to an article about it: (Trigger warning: it shows one picture of his hand on her face)